Things are coming along. I was punished Friday night for not calling my HOH Sir, forgetting to put the clothes in the dryer, and forgetting my cell phone at home. I think we are still struggling with insufficient discipline. It hurts. don't get me wrong, but not enough to make me cry. In the world of LDD, it is like we are doing this half ass. Knowing that I will be punished has definitely changed the way I spend my days. I try to always have the house cleaned and the dishes done, but I still feel like I need more structure. I don't know. I can suggest things to him but I kind of feel like I am backseat HOHing. Does anybody else deal with those feelings? How do we overcome them?
I definitely feel like I am in a better place, submissionwise, then I was a few months ago, but I am nowhere near that Actual Submissive State. I am just going along with the motions it feels. I don't think either one of us feels like this wasn't a good thing for us. We are spending more quality time together working on our relationship.
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I do! I do!!!! Please email me at nativejewel007@gmail we def have this in common, let's talk?
ReplyDeleteI definately know how you feel. I has been hard for me to break down. My hoh also doesn't want to get me to break because he mentaly can't differeniate my tears from physical abuse. We have talked about this so many times. No matter what I say or do, he just can't seem to wrap his mind around it. I have even asked for corner time or some kind of preparation befor the spanking to put me in the frame of mind so he won't have to spank long or hard to get me to cry. I don't know. I am at a loss. We do regular spankings and just recently I recieved an honest punishment. I only cried because of my guilt feelings, not because of the spanking itself. He stopped the punishment befor I felt true remorse. I woke up in the middle of night consumed by my guilt and feeling like what I am asking him to do is wrong. I felt like such a sick person. This has been a very difficult journey for us. I hope we figure this out soon. Good luck to you on your journey as well.
ReplyDeleteI am going through that right now. I was spanked last night just barely to tears but still today I dont feel motivated to do what needs to be done to change that behavior. My email is emetz28@gmail.com if you want to talk. I could use some LDD friends.
ReplyDeleteThis is crazy!!! Submission is "working together with" not "working under!!!" Why else would Christ say for believers to submit to each other??? I can't believe I found this blog and that it even exists!!! God never intended husbands to spank their wives!!! Is this how Christ "loved" the church and gave His life for it???
ReplyDeleteGod does talk about discipline not being enjoyable at the time, so yes, He does punish the church. So, if it helps the woman be what Gods wants her to be, then yes, this is right.
DeletePersonally for me and from most of my submissive friends.....the tears do not come from the physical pain of a spanking ladies. Yes, of course a punishment spanking hurts.....alot. But the tears come from a submissive mind knowing she has disappointed, displeased or let down her Dominant.....that pain is far worse than the spanking itself. The spanking is a way for him to show his displeasure, show you youre cared for enough to be corrected, and provide that balance of accountability. For you the spanking is to reflect, to have a consequence so you can forgive yourself for letting him (and you) down, to feel youve paid for your transgressions and can move forward with a clean slate.
ReplyDeleteIf you cant seem to cry from the spanking then reflect beforehand about why youre being spanked in the first place.....youre submissive and you fell short, you let him down....this wonderful man who loves and protects you.....you let him down. That should be the source of your tears ladies.
It is so great to know there are others out there who understand DD. I have just started a blog myself it is www.1950princess.blogspot.co.uk i think we are all quite similar in how we are and how we see DD!
ReplyDeletePrincess x