Monday, June 1, 2009

Week Ends

What a weekend. We had our ups and downs. Saturday we had a lot of running around to do. It was chaos. We got the ALDD Book 1 in the mail, and my HOH read almost the entire thing Saturday night. He was experimenting with my submission Saturday, having me strip and spread my legs, that sort of thing. It was fine. I did well.

Yesterday we went to his parents’ house to swim. He was in a shitty, crabby mood. When he’s like that, it is very tough for me to understand how I am supposed to act. I tried to be respectful, I really did, but he was acting all dominant simply for the sake of it. He really didn’t need anything, it was like he was testing me simply because he was pissy. Now, I want to be submissive, yes, but I am simply not there yet. I feel like he expects me to behave like I have been living the lifestyle for months and months (as opposed to one week) but he can’t even follow through with the proper maintenance schedule for one week!

We are still, clearly, trying to figure it out. We had a bedtime talk last night about all of this. I told him that, although I started the week feeling very intimately connected with him (following my first true, and most effective discipline) as the week progressed, I felt more and more disconnect. I don’t know if this was in direct relation to the missed Maintenance Spankings or not.

He told me this morning that he was recommitted to making this work. I got my Preemptive this morning and he left for work. I guess we’ll see how the day progresses. This in between stage of no longer having control, but not yet let it go completely is ridiculously confusing for both of us.

2 comments:

  1. LDD was devised by a man to benefit men. Strict LDD can be abusive.
    You can have an active spanking relationship without LDD. You may want to burn the ALDD book. :) Try spanking classics
    http://www.spankingclassics.com/discus/messages/111/176852.html?1243814393

    We don't practice any humiliation. I love being spanked because of proper warm ups. I never bruise. If your husband made love to you with your spankings he will spank you more if that's what you want. If you do oral and anal you stay frustrated get pissed and don't bond b/c he is satisfied alone.Spanking is arousing and promotes great sex.

    I suggest you try submission spankings. They can be of any length, for any or no reason don't have corner time and include mutually satisfying love making with better orgasms from the spanking. That's all we do and I've been spanked since our wedding night for over 25 years. I get spanked ay least every other day never to tears. They are erotic because they aren't planned. Our marriage is happy without LDD rules.

    Forced Anal sex can be dangerous without lube and tear the indemnitee. It's a form of rape.

    You seem to have a fantasy vision of punishment spanking. If you were punished until you could not sit you would be black and blue with bleeding welts. The stories aren't real. A sound paddling or brush spanking will make sitting uncomfortable. Daily spankings will produce the same effect.

    If you kneel with pillows with your legs spread wide, ass in the air, chest on the bed and he whips you with a belt, tawse or rubber whip, thin loopy Johnny your inner ass cheeks and anus will be sore for days and you will not be able to get comfortable. Pyrsm Creations have some good rubber toys that won't break the skin,:

    http://prysmcreations.com/index.html

    As does Hanson paddle werks:

    http://hansonpaddlewerks.com/enter.html

    You are getting more and more angry because you are frustrated and more beatings, corners and one way oral sex won't help. You sound like you're bratting and that merits sound spanking until you are honest about what you want and need.

    Clair

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had such a hard time posting> I didn't preview. Please excuse the typos. I think we could help you both to find a happy marriage. Please feel free to post your reply. Or set it up so you can receive e-mail good luck. - Claire

    ReplyDelete